Has this ever happened to you? You’re dating a guy, but there are no sparks. He’s nice enough, you share a number of interests, but you’re not attracted to him. You feel guilty about this. You wonder if you’re being too picky. I mean, who do you think you are, anyway? So you keep dating the guy out of some sense of duty. Maybe you convince yourself you like him more than you do. After a while, you get used to having him around. And besides, it’s nice to be part of a couple.

But then, just as you accept the possibility that this is the guy, despite the lack of sparks, he starts giving you a hard time. Maybe he develops a habit of not showing up on time. Maybe his calls drop off. Whatever it is, he’s taking you for granted, you who did him the favor of dating him in the first place. What is up with that? Here’s a tip: I don’t care if the guy is Prince William, if you’re not attracted, you’re not attracted. And don’t feel guilty about it. You’re not.

Yes, of course, you should give a seemingly great guy a second chance if you’re not attracted right away, but at some point you’re going to have to be attracted to him if you want the relationship to succeed. So, by all means, give yourself (and him!) a chance for attraction to develop, but if it doesn’t, please don’t do a number on yourself and tell yourself you’re being too picky. You’re not. Attraction is important. You feel guilty about this. What is up with that?

Ultimately, we all want to marry (or date) the man who will become our best friend, but we also want to be attracted to him. If you sell yourself short on this, it will likely come back to haunt you. So, if you’ve given a man a fair chance, and he still doesn’t make your heart bounce, be true to yourself and move on. And don’t feel guilty about it. You know darn well that a man who isn’t attracted to you isn’t going to hang around for very long. Has this ever happened to you?